The unplanned day

By not filling every moment, we allow the moment to become more FULL.

I never got around to planning anything for my son's day off from school on President's Day. I had thought about taking him to the Superstitions for a hike, or trying to get together with friends around town, but I just never solidified anything and then the day found us wide open and not committed. Instead of our usual routine in the morning, kind of did everything a little backwards. We lingered in bed longer than usual through my non-caffeinated haze, I listened to my son as he jumped from topic to topic and I walked with him through the wide hallways of his imagination. We didn't make our beds and ate a leisurely breakfast. We moved around the house in what may have seemed like a pointless shuffle, but within a few hours we had built an entire city out of his blocks, I cleaned and did laundry, we blasted music and danced, sat down and drew together, and then made the spontaneous plan to meet up with close friends for a park picnic outing.

We ran some errands first, and on that day they didn't feel at all like chores or burdens. There was a levity within us and between us. Our time at the park was drama free and easy. We made tacos for dinner and enjoyed them in front of the tv, which we pretty much never do. Bedtime happened earlier than usual for us both and I woke up on Tuesday feeling refreshed and conscious of a subtle shift.

I think it is totally realistic and not at all idealistic to expect a life decorated with more moments, hours and even days like these. I recognize that school, work, homework, chores and extra curricular activities await us and are important on some level. However, I do think our priorities are a bit out of whack and we don't allow life to happen anymore. We are so perpetually in control that we have become less receptive to the moment of spontaneity, with all its wonder and possibility. There are countless articles written on this topic, and well-researched evidence highlighting the benefits of being less busy and therefore more productive. We can approach this from the perspective of western psychology or from eastern philosophy. Or, better still, we can stop intellectualizing and instead, experience it.

My son and I were in such harmony with one another on that day off, and I later realized it was because we were both so present and mindful. We were actively participating in the unfolding of each event and experience, regardless of how frivolous or mundane it may have been. I felt more observant on that day, of everything, kind of the way you might be when you're on vacation in a new place and you're taking it all in. Sam and I were both more available to one another's jokes, stories, hugs, thoughts.

What would appear to others as just another ordinary day between a mom and her 8 year old son was, in actuality, a profoundly beautiful moment of alignment. We were in that sweet spot, where we were connecting with one another and everything around us with so much ease because we had allowed ourselves the space to do so.

I'm committing to NOT filling every moment so that each moment can therefore become more full. Maybe you'll be inspired to do the same? :)

Relevance of Thought

Our happiness heavily depends on the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves. We often try to work in the opposite direction, hoping for changes on the external level. If we want to be more patient with the people around us, or less critical, or more trusting, or whatever we perceive our work to be... we must first observe the loop of our own inner dialog. This requires an incredible commitment to svadyaya (Self Study), and Satya (truth). If we attempt to skip the inner work, any shifts we have will be temporary and conditional. In contrast, when we devote ourselves to accurate information about ourselves, as opposed to the conditioning we've subscribed to, we start to actually experience the walls coming down.

The way we view (and experience)our world is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. This statement just shatters me with its truthfulness and moves all of the accountability to us. Lets not see this responsibility as a burden, rather in invitation to heal and find the contentment and Self awareness which is the fruit of the work.

The next time we wish for things to be better externally, we can look at how that specific quality manifest within. So many answers will rely on that inquiry. Accompany this mindfulness practice with a commitment to meditation, and the inner work blossoms.